Advice to brides and grooms
Premarital advice
Timely advice to brides and grooms could save them a lot of heartache and tears. The norm nowadays is for their friends to organize a bridal shower or stag party depending on gender. These parties are fun and an important milestone marking the last night as a single person. And rightfully so, everyone deserves a party with friends and more time before tying the knot.
However, the problem is these parties do very little to prepare the bride and groom of the realities of marriages. In terms of expectations and reality. Especially in regards to money, sex and intimacy, and in-laws. Premarital counseling covers some of these issues, but they might not cover sex and intimacy very well.
Important Issues worth considering to the bride and groom
One of the biggest issue is how to manage sexual expectations and mismatched libido. This is when a man, wants to have sex all the time. Having waited for so long and now having permission from God, the girl’s father, and the government. He feels he must make up. Worse so for men who marry virgins. Yes, we have many virgin brides and even grooms in this day and age.
Talk of virgins. The pre-marital classes or the party before will not offer much in terms of how to consummate the marriage. Neither will they offer insights into weird fetishes associated with overexposed individuals. Who often marry very inexperienced persons.
What happens when the wife is pregnant. And is either repulsed by the husband’s scent or the libido deeps after the child. How will she be able to cope with a new baby and a husband who thinks the baby is getting too much attention at his expense? what of wives who can’t balance work, the baby, husband, and wifely duties at home? Finance breaks more marriage than affairs. And in-laws are one of the biggest sources of conflict in a marriage.
My advice to brides and grooms
These are some of the many issues I would love to discuss with engaged and newlywed couples. Due to COVID rule of social distancing, I invite couples to join my pre and post marriage WhatsApp group. The group costs 3,000 Ksh per couple and will start from the 15th of September 2020. Please pass the word around or better pay for a sister, brother, or friend. It’s one on the best practical gift you can give a couple.
