Side chicks / dudes are all about Lust and Vanity
This issue of side chicks / dudes is just lust and vanity. This self-centred idea is that I must have it all, I must fulfil my heart’s desire by all means. Then try to justify it. Such men hide behind traditions, they argue that their grandfathers and father were polygynous. So they too should be. Then women reason that if their husbands have side chicks why shouldn’t they have a boy toy? In some cases, both conspire for one of them to get someone for money.
Spouse who allow their partners to have other sexual partners
I know of men (beach boys) who have women from abroad and wives here. The wife is sent away when the European woman comes on holiday. Or they stay in the same house and pretend the wife is a sister. The man is simply taking care of his sister and kids. Likewise, some married women have sponsors with the knowledge and permission of their husbands. They spouse allow it as long as they bring money home to them.
You can’t be a Christian and be or have side persons
That is all good if you are a traditionalist but when you confess to being a Christian, go to Church every Sunday and even have your children dedicated and baptized. Then you can not argue that you need to spice up outside marriage.
In the same breath, you can’t be a side person and complain that he/she is asking for weird stuff in bed. Or even ask how to tell if he/she loves you. Off course he/she doesn’t love you otherwise they would have divorced their spouse for you. They are just using you for sexual pleasure, so since you signed up for it and you have benefits coming your way, then by all means oblige. While at it remember, just as he/she got bored of their spouse, he/she will get bored too or find a younger better person willing to fill your shoes. It will always end in tears.
Another thing that perplexes me is this title of the official side chicks / dudes. When the wife or even husband knows of this person their spouse is having an affair and would even gang up to deal with any other threat. As far as I am concerned you as the aggrieved party has options. Even the bible allows divorce on infidelity grounds. Don’t stay for money or the kids. In the long run, you are not doing yourself or your kids any favours. It will always end badly. Your children seeing what you are allowing will either hate you and the practice or will embrace it and become worse in their marriages.
Every man and woman must have the capacity to fend for themselves and their children in case the marriage doesn’t work out. Also, you can get every Mombasa Raha thing you desire in your marriage from your spouse but must be willing to work at it.