Male performance anxiety
Male performance anxiety in sexual matters is not very common. It mostly associated with the women. Men are expected to take charge in sexual affairs. Be bold and satisfy the woman. However there are times when a man lacks the confidences and therefore has male performance anxiety. Below is a question one man asked about the same.
Dear Sex Aunty, I am Ken a 30 year old businessman in Nairobi. My problem is, I am not able to conclude a sexual act with a woman. Yet I have no problem while masturbating. I start with a good erection, but soon after negative thoughts makes it goes down. Please advice.
Dear Ken, Matters of the bedroom can be complicated affair especially where expectations are high. Such expectations and anticipations could be from one self or the mate, which could result in performance anxiety or even premature ejaculation. In your case I suspect it could be performance anxiety, which is a hindrance to successful lovemaking.
Male Performance anxiety
Like the name suggests, the anxiety impedes performances, which reminds me of the hilarious movie “The 40 year old virgin” played by Steve Carell as Andy. In the movie Andy has an unpleasant attempt at having sex when he was a teenager; in the encounter he had difficulties unhooking the bra, which left the girl with a bleeding nose. The girl tearfully end up cursing him that he would never be with a woman. That awkward moment kept on playing in Andy’s head especially before sex which gave him “cold feet”, making him unable to have sex.
cause of male performance anxiety
Other course could be the person’s like, size (especially penis), looks and or even body odor. Such concerns could result in one concentrating too much on the flows to allow spontaneous flow of sexual feeling and thoughts resulting in loss of arousal. Usually individuals suffering from anxiety performance also have an inferiority complex and thus the problem is usually psychological and not a biological or physical challenge.
Solutions to male performance anxiety
There are no easy solutions as conditions and circumstances vary from individual to individual. However, the first step towards recovery is to admit to one’s self of the problem. Denial just makes matters worse and the anxiety is heightened even more. Often like in the case on Andy, love and understanding helps one overcome. With time, you will met the right woman. One who will take you for who you are and will be patient enough to help you gain the confidence you need.
Love will go along way, in allaying fears that you may have. Legitimating your relationship (marriage) might also help remove guilt and anxiety. I hope you are not one of those people who went to a strict Catholic school. Every time you undress, Sister Francis’s vision suddenly appears saying “thou shall not committee adultery”. However, sometime even with love, understanding and permission from God and the state. One might still require professional help to cope with the situation.