Hi auntie, I experience painful sex. Most of time when my boyfriend and I are making love. I get a sharp pain that doesn’t last long. Also if we are doing it the second time the pain intensifies. I don’t long for making out sometimes thinking of the pain I will feel. I went to the doctor some time back he said I was okay. Is my man too large for me? Do we do it wrong? Am I too dry? Help this is so stressing especially to my man. Although he hasn’t said it, I bet I irritate him when I say all the time am in pain help save my sex life. Lucy.
Dear Lucy, painful sex is quite common. It’s estimated that about 60% of all women have experienced pain during sex at one time. Records document pain during sex as far back as ancient Egypt. In some cultures it this could be a cause for divorce.
The pain can range from mild to acute pain. The pain could an isolated incident or recurring.
There many causes for pain during sex, they could be physical or emotional. The pain could emanate from different sources. Such as the vulva, inside the vagina and even the lower back, pelvic region, uterus as well as the bladder. Pain on the vulva could be due to sensitivity caused by use of soaps and over the counter vaginal sprays. As well as scars, cysts or infections. Vaginal pain could be due to dryness, infections and Vaginismus.
Vaginismus is a condition that causes automatic tenses/close up of vaginal muscles. It’s can be emotional due to fear of hurt, contracting an STD, getting pregnant or the guilt associated with illicit sex. It could also be as a result of previous trauma. Deep pain could be as a result of other medical conditions in nearby tissues and organs.
In your case the problem could be emotional given the fact that the doctor didn’t find any physical problem. I hope this doctor is a certified gynecologist. I doubt that your man is too big for you. The vagina is flexible enough to accommodate most sizes. Otherwise your concerns would be more of deep penetration. It could be a case of vaginal dryness. For which I recommend you invest in a good lubricant.
You need to do a bit of soul searching to determine if you have any emotional issues. It might also be advisable to seek a second medical opinion by a qualified gynecologist.