Oral sex – He won’t go down on me

Oral sex: Dear Aunty, I am a 35 year old woman, married 8 years. My dilemma is despite going down on my husband, he won’t return the favor. What can I do to entice him to do the same? Frustrated

Dear frustrated, does he say why? Oral sex can be a challenge to many. Traditionally, there has been this belief that sexual bliss is centered on satisfying the man, at the expense of the woman. That’s why in the past polygamy and female genital mutilation was practice as a means to stifle female sexual pleasure. Also women have not come out to demand their right to sexual gratification within the marriage. In fact this lack of redress encourages infidelity, therefore it’s in the men’s interest to address their wives’ concerns.

Men who are reluctant to go down on their wives usually have hang-ups or phobias. Oral sex phobia could be as a result of the view that the vagina is unclean especially during the period. In other cases it’s the women who will have none of it. While some men are just simply selfish and other reason could be he doesn’t know where to start.

Find out what his hang-ups are; if hygiene is the issue then a shower together could help. While if it’s taste you could apply something tasty like flavored lubricants, honey, chocolate or even ice cream. As for the selfish or lazy guys you could give incentives; men respond better to incentives. For example, you could set aside a session for just going down on him. Use all the tricks you can – use mint sweets, ice cubes, motions lotions and honey. Do such a good job that he begs for mercy. The next day, ask him how much he enjoyed himself then inform him that you would love half of the same treat!