Post birth sex and how to fix it
Post birth sex could be a big challenge for women. The problem is usually getting time off all responsibilities to relax enough to feel sexy, beautiful and wanted. This may cause misunderstanding and anxiety between the couple.
The arrival of a new born especially to new mothers is very tough and exhausting, it’s little wonder therefore that at this time there is hardly any action between the sheets. Its commonplace for husbands to complain that the baby is taking too much attention away from him and he feels deserted and neglected especially sexually – especially after waiting for months. Post birth sex, especially lack of it, can create conflict where both retreat to their selfish corners and both parties become incensed; the woman feel lack of empathy while the husband lack of intimacy and sex. Ladies don’t get me wrong; I don’t expect you to be superhuman but a little change of attitude, tack and approach could change thing to your favor.
I see women who move into the nursery with the baby so as not to disturb mzee. The husband on his part having no one to talk to and lovemaking-gone south gets bored and neglected and rightly so because he has no clue how taxing childbirth and post birth care of an infant is. Getting the man involved before right from conception to pregnancy and birth will not only strengthen the bond between the two of you but also between father and child and therefore reduce post birth sex conflicts. In fact women must involve husbands! Here are tips to get your husband to participate and not pester you too much sexually after childbirth;
- Involve him from day one; the minute you realize you are pregnant, call him up as ask him to buy a pregnancy test kit – let him own the situation from day one. Remember it not just you who is pregnant, both of you are!
- Make the doctors appointment together, go with him especially when you do the ultra-sound; there is nothing as magical as seeing the tiny limbs and hear that heart beat – believe me that’s when you become super woman and that when men became fathers! You will also avoid too many questions from him after words, let him ask the doctor. FAQ include; is it safe to have sex while pregnant? When do we stop having sex? Which is the best position? Will sex hurt the baby or will it be born with freckles or bumps on the head?
- I highly recommend Lamaze classes so you both know what to expect and deal with emergencies; worked wonders for me
- It’s not optional for him to come to the delivery room. If you want to earn your respect and show him what women are made of, this is when. Please close those gapping mouths, it doesn’t mean he has to see the head pop out, let him stand by your side holding your hand – one man had to go for therapy because every time he wanted to make love thereafter he would flashed back to the head popping out!
- Involve him with the baby as soon as you get home; he is a big boy with coaching he too can hold the baby, when he does praise him men respond better.
- Remind him of the stipulated period before resuming sexual relations; some men have no clue they think a week is all you need.
- Avoid take turns to wake up when the baby cries at night; this could degenerate into an argument. Wake up together; let him pick the baby and you breast-feed. This way he will appreciate the fatigue and will be too tired to ask for sex all the time and when he does, he will be more understanding knowing what you are going through.
- When its time to resume lovemaking, try to accommodate him as much as possible. Here it will be wise to issue a disclaimer that it will take time for your body to readjust so he should be happy with whatever is coming his way.
- Remember you can only have sex after relaxation, so get him to baby sit while you take a very long bubble bath, go to the salon or shopping what ever relaxes you. Reward him for being a good babysitter, which will motivate him even more.
- Since lovemaking will be less frequent, make it last longer so make it as slow as possible with lots of kissing, hugging and petting to keeping him going for a while. If he is one of those quickie guys, find a way to slow him down. Watch out, you could splash baby’s milk in his eyes! Women have been recorded to jet out milk during orgasm.
Post birth sex should be a celebration of union and the fruits of it; the child. Therefore, with a husband who has been involved in the whole journey, is more likely to assist and make his wife’s life more comfortable. He is more likely to get his wife into the mood by making her feel appreciated, valued and loved; not just a good ‘cow’ for his child. Therefore, post birth sex wont be an issue.
Remember ladies, the vagina is one of the most flexible organ, so unless funny sounds are coming out, you are tight enough so relax and enjoy yourself. After all you just performed a miracle by giving life, you are now a real woman, celebrate your womanhood!
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