My wife has some red panties that she was given by her lady friend as a valentine gift
This also means keeping up with my email messages, checking on social media, re-booking all the appointments that I had to cancel when I became sick as well as check on other business and personal matters.
In the midst of all these activities, I came across a message that made my day. I must say sometimes am just amazed at the kind of questions people ask me out there. At times I don’t know whether to be flattered or aggravated at some questions, especially those that dwell on a partner’s conduct or behavior. This is what he asked;
“hallo madam,my wife has some red panties that she was given as a present by her lady friend as a valentine present….en i suspected as if they have some hidden agendas coz they keep on texting each other sweet msgs……pls help me to know whether its healthy ama kuna kitendawili”
Please don’t get me wrong; I am not trying to make fun out of this situation and neither am I dismissing his concerns, but you will have to agree with me that I can only speculate since I don’t know all the facts.
If I confirm his fears and tell him that his wife is a lesbian and it turns out that the wife’s friend is just a cheeky girl playing jokes with the wife then I will be to blame. I would also be at fault if I tell him to concentrate on ‘nation building’ and stop being petty. Then the wife elopes with the friend I will be in trouble too.
Marriage is for two; not two plus a third wheel
The truth of the matter is I am all for marriage and even if I am to save just one, then my job will be done. However, marriage is for two individuals and ultimately it they who must communicate effectively, find conflict resolution mechanisms and ways and means of accommodating each other. It’s therefore a wonder to me when one of the parties would rather ask me to ask their partner patent issues concerning their marriage. Many a times I have been offered money to call a wife/husband to ask, prod them to tell the truth and even get him/her to return to the marriage or relationship. Other times I have been sent women to train them to be just like me, can you imagine that?
Back to the red panties
Now please let me address the husband of the red panties fame. My brother, I am sorry I can’t confirm that the friendship between your wife and her lady friend is healthy or Kitendawili (riddle). As far as I am concerned, I wouldn’t accept ‘red panties’ or any other colour for that matter from a lady friend or man other than my husband. But then that’s me, maybe other women could be different. The odd bit is the timing; as a bridal shower gift, panties are permissible for the honeymoon, but for valentines I think flowers and chocolates may be more appropriate.
The fact that you are uncomfortable and it’s been bugging you since February, is reason enough for you to sit down with your wife and ask her about it. While at it, be firm and don’t let her brush it off, state your case and ask her how she would feel if your male friends bought you boxers and kept sending you ‘Sweet’ text messages? Her reaction or lack of to your confronting her will be the tell tale sign, especially if she will not look you in the eye or want to discuss the issue.
I know you were expecting a straightforward answer, but I am sorry it doesn’t work that way.
Readers, what is your take on this issue? Would you accept such a gift, especially on St Valentine ’s Day, from a friend of your gender and red in colour?