Duration of sex; how long do you last?
Duration of sex is one of the most frequent question clients ask me. Unfortunately or fortunately hardly does any one record the duration. This leads to most feeling that they have spend long periods of time. But, the reality its just but a few minutes.
Men and women’s views
Duration of sex and the size of the penis is equated with sexual prowess for most men. As for most women, it’s more how the husband make her feel regardless of endowment and endurance. As a matter of fact too long can be agonizingly painful and result in bruises and abrasions. However, there are women who due to lack of better understanding hold the same view as men; that bigger and longer duration of sex equates to bliss in the bedroom. These notions often associated with duration of sex in pornographic films. In the films the duration of sex is a marathon full of acrobatics and cries of ecstasy. While in a real sense, these movies take days to shoot with lots of breaks in between as well as editing.
Evolution of the Duration of sex
The media and a changing society; such women’s right has brought about new norms with more awareness and agitation of equality in the bedrooms.
In the 40s a study by Alfred Kinsey concluded that 75% of men in America lasted on average only 2 minutes. At the time, ejaculation before penetration was considered as premature ejaculation. While a more recent research puts the duration of sex at between 5.4 to 7.5 minutes. This shows that the duration of sex over the years has increased. As one writer put it. “The sexual revolution, for starters, which made female sexual pleasure a public goal for men for the first time”.
In the 80s and 90s premature ejaculation was determined by the number of thrusts before ejaculation; at the time less than 15. Now it’s measured in the number of minutes. In 2008 sex therapists polled gave these averages as their opinion. Less than two minutes is too short. The average duration of sex now is between three to seven minutes while what is most desired is between seven and 13 minutes according to experts. I suspect soon it will be considered it as ‘the inability of a man to satisfy a woman’.
Nevertheless, I strongly advise couples not to aspire to any standards out there. Nether, what sexologist are recommending nor what people are picking from the porn industry. Rather, couples should tailor make sex to suit their own need. What might work so one person might not work for another. For example, there are the lucky women can have multiple orgasm by being stimulated on one spot. Like a little tickle on the pleasure knob or nipples. Such women would find it too long if the partner starts on the erogenous spot, then spend a whopping half hour thereafter. This is especially so after a clitoral orgasm that leaves it hypersensitive to touch. Likewise a man who can only last a few minutes coupled with a woman who requires at least 20 minutes of stimulation; the 13 minutes recommended by sexologist will not suffice.
We must all remember sex is a gift in marriage from God meant to increase intimacy. Therefore, it’s meant to satisfy or at least meet service the need of a spouse – service to your better half. Can you imagine a situation where each is going out of their way to gratify their lover? Then we would all be happy with our duration of sex.